Monthly Archives: December 2007

My body as a billboard

I’m always researching new fads and social behaviors. Have you heard about the latest trend of selling bodies as billboards? Apparently, this is not nearly as immoral as selling your body for other purposes. But that’s another matter all together.

This whole idea of tattooing your body to promote consumer products has gotten me to thinking about my butt. Yes, that wide load I’ve been carrying back there just might have suddenly become even MORE advantageous! (It already comes in pretty handy when I’m sitting on a stadium bench.)

Instead of buying pants or jog suits that sport some well-known or lewd-sounding brand name, I could simply put a giant ink stamp on my behind. I can see it now. The first imprint would read, “Rent this space.” Or maybe “Your name here,” followed by a phone number to call for lease information.

Man, if I could sell that ad space by the square inch, I’d be on my way to riches! 

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