Totally Skewed Economics: How to invest during a recession


Let’s talk about savings and investments. No, I’m not referring to vintage doll and baseball card collections. Yes, I know theses are currently worth more than your retirement account. But that’s not my point. Besides, you can always delay retirement until your children are sufficiently well off to take care of you.

The first thing you should do is cancel any and all subscriptions to investment newsletters. Why? Well, did any of these geniuses tell you to sell your stocks before the bear market set in? I didn’t think so. There’s no reason to continue paying for bad investment advice. You can do just as well, if not better, by following your intuition.

The next action you’ll want to take deals with your employer (assuming you still have one). Do you receive earnings alerts and corporate updates about company stock? I bet so did Enron employees. And we know how well that worked out for them. Any time your employer conducts an emotionally-charged, upbeat earnings conference call you should short the stock.

While I’m on the subject of stocks, my best suggestion would be to avoid these securities in favor of buying garden seed.

Diversify your investments. This, naturally, means you’ll need to establish an eBay account.

When it comes to real estate, buy apartment futures.

I’ve no idea what to advise you about oil and gas. That ship has already left the Middle East, if you catch my wave. Otherwise, I’d recommend you purchase a refinery.

My thoughts about bonds are simple; you should refrain, if at all possible, from ever having to post one.

What about gold? All I can say is this; now who’s stupid for installing those over-the-top bathroom fixtures? Remember the gals you called idiots for wearing jewelry fashioned from Krugerrands? Yeah. Some fads turn out to be prophetic.

Finally, I have to admit I don’t understand the appeal of insurance and annuities. Why would you want to wager a bet in which the other party wins if you die? That’s seems self-explanatory, so I won’t elaborate any further. Besides, Guido The Actuary and I have an agreement.



Filed under humor, life, opinion, politics, Random thoughts, reflections, spirituality, Thoughts, Uncategorized, women, writing

2 responses to “Totally Skewed Economics: How to invest during a recession

  1. Nice writing. You are on my RSS reader now so I can read more from you down the road.

    Allen Taylor

  2. I think you make some good points when it comes to not investing in stock news letters. Personally I think they are a waste of money considering that most of those stocks advertised have already reached there peak. However I do believe that you should still invest in securities even in this market climate. The idea of buy high and sell low or jumping in only when the market is hot prevents you from taking advantage of purchasing shares of quality companies at a discounted price. If you are afraid to jump into the market head on, I suggest investing in an index fund by Vanguard. An index fund allows you to invest in the entire market while also giving you global exposure to emerging markets like in India and China. When it comes to real estate, as a realtor, I have seen the change in the market, if you are a buyer who has great credit and much liquidity, then you are a very powerful person in this market. With that being said, these certainly aren’t the best of times for the economy, but there still are plenty of opporunities out there for a great investment.

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