Totally Skewed: Jobs for Journalists

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Jobs for Journalists

 

 

 

When it comes to the fate of newspapers, I fear that ship has already sunk. The question now is this: What will become of all the unemployed journalists? Where is our bailout package? Come on. Let’s face it. Our skills are not exactly transferable to construction jobs where workers produce something people want.

 

Here are a few ideas related to high growth employment areas that journalists might wish to consider:

 

·        Prepare legal summaries for attorneys representing financial executives accused of fraud.

 

·        Become a paid blogger for companies offering in-demand products, such as ready-made meals and weather-resistant tents.

 

·        Author a cookbook filled with only meatless soup recipes.

 

·        Become a personal advertising consultant, helping sellers prepare eye-catching headlines for Craig’s List.

 

·        Be a ghostwriter for a politician who has not yet been impeached, indicted or imprisoned.

 

·        Put that fiction talent to good use by writing speeches for government officials and CEOs who’re under investigation.

 

·        Create a new line of sympathy cards which carry missives such as, “Retirement is overrated, anyway,” “Sorry for you recent home loss,” and “Hope your 401(k) recovers real soon!”

 

·        Charge by the hour to write creditor notices, provided you insist on being paid, up front, preferably in gold coins.

 

·        Pen RFPs for school construction projects in states like, oh, I don’t know, maybe Illinois.

 

Or just do what I’m doing and post a notice like this on your blog or Web site:

 

 

WILL WRITE FOR FOOD!

(McDonald’s coupons cheerfully accepted here)

 

 

 

 

 42-16242389

 

 

www.TotallySkewed.com

 

www.Franklyfunny.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Comment

Filed under entertainment, film and TV, humor, life, opinion, politics, publishing, Thoughts, Uncategorized, writing

One response to “Totally Skewed: Jobs for Journalists

  1. Nice! Much more creative than my “Practice saying, ‘Welcome to Starbucks!'” answer.

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