Tag Archives: humorous holiday advice

The Best Way to Baste a Bird

The Best Way to Baste a Bird

 

Cooks everywhere have begun their search for the perfect turkey recipe, one that can be made without consulting Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. So I’m offering a few time-tested tidbits.

 

First, you’ll want your bird to be visually appealing, not too dry yet fully cooked–or at least thawed. Nothing ruins a festive mood faster than having a guest find a half-frozen neck inside the main entrée. (Don’t ask me how that turkey managed to get his head in there.)

 

It’s best to cook poultry in a baste that provides a lovely caramel colored glaze, a flavorful hint of sweetness and just the right proof level to keep the kids quiet. That’s why I’m sharing with you my heirloom recipe, Bourbon Turkey Bliss.

 

If you have any trouble following this recipe, please let your doctor know. You might be suffering from ADHD, Adult Drinking Holidays Disorder.

 

 

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Bourbon Turkey Bliss

 

Ingredients:         10-12 lb. turkey, fresh or fully thawed to look that way

                             1 bottle (750 ml), divided, Wild Turkey™ bourbon

 (80 proof or greater)

                             1/3 C honey

                             1/3 C ketchup

                             2 Tbsp. dark brown sugar

                             1 Tbsp. soy sauce

 

Instructions:  Mix 2 cups of Wild Turkey™ with honey, ketchup, brown sugar, and soy sauce to form basting sauce. Set aside remaining bourbon.

 

Brush basting sauce on turkey.

 

Bake turkey in an oven roasting bag at 325 degrees for approximately ½ hour per pound. (That’s the turkey’s weight, not yours.)

 

Drink any remaining bourbon while the turkey cooks.

 

Have someone else transfer the turkey from oven to serving platter.

 

Blissfully serves up to 12!

 

 

 

Read more from Diana Estill, author of Deedee Divine’s Totally Skewed Guide to Life and Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road at www.totallyskewed.com.

 

                       

                       

                       

 

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